Waiting for Morning
by nothalfsocurious
Summary: "Ling," she says softly. "You did well today. Don't cry." In another universe, Ling and Lan Fan's roles are reversed. Written for Lingfan Week 2018.


Ling is nearly done with his last training set when his vision goes fuzzy and the world begins to tilt. Before he has time to analyze the situation, he collapses, unconscious before he hits the ground.

It is evening when he comes to, the cloying scent of gardenias lingering heavily in the air. His body feels heavy, and he does not open his eyes until he hears the grass rustle as someone crouches beside him.

"Drink." It's Fu, pressing a cup of fruit juice into his hand. Ling pushes himself up on wobbly limbs, and the juice dribbles over the side and onto his hand. He downs the cup in one go.

"Thank you," he says quietly.

"You need to be more aware of your own body," Fu tells him. "How will you protect the princess if you cannot stay conscious?"

Ling does not answer, and remains quietly beneath the tree he is seated under. Fu must have moved him to be in the shade. He's not sure it did any good. The healers told him it is his blood causing the fainting spells; he needs to make sure to eat enough. The problem is, Ling doesn't know how much is enough. And when it's not enough, he gets no warning. Fu has told him if he practices, he will be able to read _qi_ well enough to detect the change. Ling wants to believe him. He does. The princess deserves the best guard there is, and Ling wants to be that for her. Sometimes though, he thinks he won't ever be good enough. He's already had three years of training. _Shouldn't he be better?_

After an hour passes he is stable enough to walk alone, so he makes his way into the house.

The princess is waiting for him, sitting at the low table, her back straight. He avoids her gaze, embarrassed at having fainted once again.

"I'm sorry," he says, and tears of shame begin to well up. He glances at her, and her eyes widen.

"Why?" she asks. "You did well today. Don't cry." Ling opens his mouth to protest, but swallows it down. The princess' eyes are honest. She truly believes what she's said.

 _I'll do better tomorrow_ , Ling resolves.

—

Ling has always loved Princess Lan Fan. He told her so at their first meeting. (Fu scolded him harshly later, but his six-year-old heart was too pure to understand propriety.)

At some point, however, something changes. When she trains, he not only admires her skill and strength, but is now enthralled by the grace of her movements, the lines of her body. Her smile makes his stomach flip, like the rush he gets when jumping from a tall tree. He has always tried to impress her, whether with goofy antics or by displaying his capabilities, but now he makes a conscious effort, analyzing what might catch her attention. In spite of this, even Ling is not so indecorous as to flirt with the princess or to hope something might come of his feelings. He knows his place. Even so, he still finds himself longing for her laughter.

—

The Emperor is dying. His lady has decided they must head west to search for immortality. There are rumors of a stone that can grant eternal life, created through the use of alchemy, a foreign science similar to alkahestry. Princess Lan Fan is not an alkahestrist, but she has studied its principles, and she believes this stone may be the salvation of the Yao clan.

If there's a chance, they have to try.

—

Amestrians are…different, to say the least. Not long after their arrival, Ling and Fu fight two alchemists, a short blond with a bad temper, and a suit of armor who can walk and talk despite having no flow of _qi_. The princess decides to follow them to Central City, and there they meet several members of the country's military. The Colonel seems not to trust the country's leader, or the government, and aims to be the one who changes things.

Well, maybe they aren't so different after all.

A deal is made; Ling will assist in breaking a framed woman out of prison, and Fu will escort her back to Xing. In exchange, the Amestrians are to provide information concerning immortality. The princess isn't confident they'll keep their end of the deal though, especially after the two of them fight the monsters that can't die, so they spend quite a lot of time eavesdropping.

There isn't much space on the ledge outside the hotel window, so Ling and the princess are pressed closely together as they listen to the Elric brothers' conversation. In a silent moment, he is very conscious of her body beside him: arm pressing against his, shoulder to wrist, warm and firm.

Tomorrow they will act.

—

After the surgery, the doctor and lieutenant vacate the room, leaving him alone with the princess. Neither says anything, and emotion swells in his chest until he falls to his knees at her bedside.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, eyes squeezed shut. A cry gathers in the back of his throat. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry _, I'm sorry!_ "

His mistress is exhausted, barely able to move, and yet she raises a shaky hand.

 _Strike me,_ he thinks. _I deserve far worse._

She runs her thumb across his cheek, wiping away the tear that has leaked from the corner of his eye.

"Ling," she says softly, and he raises his head to look at her. He inhales sharply. The princess is smiling, as beautifully and gently as she always has. "You did well today. Don't cry."

He cannot obey though, for a moment later he is sobbing into her lap, breathing in the musty smell of the sheet covering her legs, and cursing himself for his unworthiness.

—

As the sound of destruction echoes into the night, Ling lays the princess down in the backseat of the car. The Elric brothers have run off into the woods, aiming to recapture the homunculus. The princess shifts in place, but before she can open her mouth to speak, he interjects.

"Please, my lady," he begs, "don't ask me to leave you again!"

"I'm sorry," she tells him, and his heart sinks. He knows she is right to send him after the beast, but to be forced to leave her for a second time when she is so gravely injured is a torment.

When the car speeds away, Ling makes a silent prayer for her safety.

He forgets, however, to ask for his own.

—

"My heart is large enough to hold twenty or thirty of you!" Ling exclaims. The monster laughs, and it reverberates through Ling's veins.

"Well, I do like how ambitious you are. Just don't try and change your mind."

"I'll never change my mind," he asserts. "My lady lost her arm searching for this, because I failed to protect her. I couldn't face her again if I went home empty-handed! I need this power; I need it to protect my lady so she can provide for our people, and take her place as ruler. It's my fault she's suffering, but this is my chance to fix it. I accept all of the risks!" Ling is trembling, from both the souls ravaging his body and his own conviction, but he stares the monster dead-on.

It grins.

—

The homunculus agrees to send a message for him, likely out of curiosity for what he will say. Humans seem to fascinate him, although Greed claims they matter to him only as possessions. Ling's message is brief, and written with a shaky hand.

 _I have obtained a Philosopher's Stone_ , he writes first, then takes a deep breath before continuing, _I am sorry_.

Edward takes his note, written on a torn piece of his sarashi, and Ling hopes these are not the last words he will give to his lady.

—

It is unforgivable to leave the princess alone and unprotected, especially when she is injured, but he hopes that something will come of his decision to accept a monster into his body. He also hopes that Fu will consider this before beating him if they ever meet again.

The months Ling spends with Greed are strange. The homunculus is obnoxious and crass. He claims to always tell the truth while lying to himself about his intentions and desires. Ling is determined to regain possession of his body, lying in wait for an opportunity to seize control.

When Ed and the chimeras join up with them, Greed is preoccupied with the change in dynamic, but all Ling can focus on is Ed's words.

 _She's safe_ , he had said. _Worried for you. But safe._

The relief he feels at her confirmed safety is dampened by hearing of the pain he has caused her. The princess had lost her arm, yet she worries for the safety of her foolish guard. Ling isn't surprised, however. Princess Lan Fan is the kindest and most caring person he has ever met.

He is determined to return to her and provide her what she needs to inherit the throne. He hopes he does soon.

—

It is impossible to describe the feeling he experiences when he senses that familiar flow of _qi_ in the middle of the dark forest. If he had to describe it, the closest word might be _elation_. Lan Fan, twelfth daughter of the Emperor of Xing, is fierce and unrepentant as she takes on Gluttony. Her automail arm glints in the scarce moonlight, blade flashing as it slices through flesh. Fighting alongside her after so long feels like returning home, like filling a part of him that was empty.

Their reunion is short-lived, as Greed has his own plans, but Ling is comforted in having seen her, even briefly.

 _She is alive_ , he thinks. _And she is strong_.

—

The next twenty-four hours are turbulent and devastating. Fuhrer Bradley kills Master Fu. Throughout the entire journey, the princess has not cried, but at Fu's death a tear falls from her eye onto Ling's face. This propels Ling into action, and he borrows Greed's strength to take on an army. He is separated from his lady once more, and she watches Bradley die. They finally learn why the Dragon's Pulse seems to scream beneath the Amestrian earth. Greed sacrifices himself to defeat his Father, his entire being ripped from Ling's soul.

But.

The monster is defeated. Alphonse Elric regains his body. The princess has found a Philosopher's Stone. An alliance is formed with her half-sister.

And they can finally return home. To Xing.

In the cold desert night, the princess and her protector hold each other, and wait for morning.

A/N: Written for Lingfan Week Day 4: Alternate Universe. This was originally supposed to be for last year's Lingfan Week but I couldn't manage to finish it. I haven't proofread or edited yet but want to post it now. This will be crossposted to tumblr and ao3.


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